Never rely solely on a cartoon map. Never.

I stared down at the crumpled cartoon map in my hands and wonder when and where it all went wrong.  One minute we were cruising through the scenic Kansas countryside, next we were sitting in a field, covered with ticks, hopelessly lost.  Barry, my travel partner had stumbled upon a map at an information booth – “Barns of the Smithsonian” was plastered across the front with a crude, not to scale, map in the interior.  It seems that the Kansas countryside is littered with historical barns and the only way to access them all is to follow this map through random country roads, down lane-ways, paths and in one case an irrigation ditch. 

We found the first barn with very little difficulty.  By the time we located the third barn, we were all turned around; no idea which direction north way, no clue what road we were on, in fact we were so close to the Nebraska border (at least we were the last time we were oriented) that we weren't even sure what state we were in.  My coping mechanisms tend to fail as the severity of a situation increases.  Granted the situation was far from life threatening but I was tired and my sense of rationale was deteriorating. 

Barry and I were now engaged in a lively debate as to the best way to extricate ourselves from nowhere, Kansas.  I turned Jetta down one dirt road with the sense that it would at least take us back to a paved, populated and signed road.  Not ten meters down the trail and we encountered an orange “Road Closed” construction sign.  Logically I should have turned around and proceeded back to the safety of our previous dirt road…but I did not.  Barry calmly gestured to the sign as if I had somehow missed this GIANT orange sign in the middle of the corn field.  I kept my eyes forward and my jaw locked with determination as I proceeded forward ignoring my travel partner who in my opinion was responsible for this mess – what with his “barns of the Smithsonian" cartoon map and all.  Barry then switched a patronizing tone, querying as to whether or not I was hormonal today?

He clearly seemed oblivious that it was indeed his actions that lead to our current situation...this naivety was my rationale for snapping some retort at him that indicated his navigation suggestions were no longer welcome.  It would be nice to say that it was bravery that drove me on, or even a strong sense of karma that we were finally on the correct path.  Sadly it was just a petty reluctance to admit that I was wrong – so we pressed on, the poor Jetta lumbering down the trail that was formerly a road.  Barry just sat there, tight lipped staring straight ahead, to be honest I think by this point he was hoping that we were going to plummet into some deep ravine and die.  It would be a win-win for him; he would be free of the road trip hell that he was currently on AND he would have an entire afterlife of “I-told-you-so”.

At least it was the dry season.  It seems as though the road was closed because the bridge was out.  That’s it…no cliffs, no raging rivers…in other words…no match for Jetta!  I deftly navigated my sedan down the dried up river bank and up the other side as if I were cruising down the highway.  Barry and I sat silently during the entire episode, the tension still palpable…until the other side.  Then we got out of the car and briefly ran around, cheering our amazing luck and German engineering!

Rejuvenated and optimistic that things were turning around we chatted as we finished the last of the trail/road off and crossed upon a paved road!  I tried not to be smug about my finding but I know there was a smirk pasted on my face.  I glanced over at Barry and realized that he too wore a self-righteous grin.  I sat quietly wondering what he had to be so satisfied about...and then I heard the “thud thud” that was clearly the cause for his facial expression.  Hmmm...a new noise that was clearly the result of the riverbed incident.  The car was still moving forward, and with no dealership in site, I choose to handle it the same way I handled many of life’s crises – complete disregard.  The car would either stop working or it wouldn't, nothing could change that now and there was NO way that I was going to publicly acknowledge the noise!