Waka waka... (posting from the road)

One of the most frequent questions that I encountered prior to my departure was whether I intended to attend the World Cup. As awesome as that would be, sadly my travel plans existed far from South Africa. I thought with the given distance that the festivities would have little impact on my vacation...in fact it is quite the opposite.

The entire continent has been embracing the world cup with an amazing amount of gusto. The billboard with the slogan "Our Flags are different but our dreams are not - Africa United" have dotted all the major roadways that we have travelled. Tiny isloated towns have notices scrwaled on old blakcboards or scraps of paper announcing upcoming matches. We have camped in places that do not have running water but will have somehow found a small black and white television for all to sqeeze around. Larger cities have crowds surrounding the windows of television stores, just like in the movies. Match results are spread by word of mouth in just a few minutes.

I have only heard two songs since arriving here; "Waka Waka" by Shikira and "Waving the Flag" by K'naan. And those songs are everywhere - background music for bars or commercials, even cell phone ring tones. These songs have been the backdrop to my day for several days now.

My travel group is also closely following the tournamanet. We have a flowsheet of the matches pinned up and many an hour has been spent on the bus debating who will qualify and the heavy card hands of the refs. Given that Canada has not qualified for the Cup this year I am left with a dilenma on who to root for...given that Africa has been my adopted home for the past few weeks, I will join the continent and cheer on Ghana.

(Sad note - shortly after writing this Ghana went on to lose and was elminiated. I was in Tanzania for the World Cup finals - nice job Spain, I was cheering for Netherlands of course...
But Stacey - you were correct. The continent was shaking the night Ghana beat the US!!)

Men and fire ants...(posting from the road)

I have no idea what it is about this place...I seem to attract two things...men and fire ants.
Never in my life have I invited so much attraction from the opposite sex. I seemed to be the most desirable in Rwanda for some reason - this is a little tale to illustrate the completely random and absurd nature of my feminine wilds. (I tell you this tale because it is Leila's favourite and made her almost wet her pants from laughter when it occurred).

I just finished an uncomfortable good bye with our Rwandan tour guide who seemed to have taken a shining to me as well (our parting involved his hand on my ass and tongue in my ear while I awkwardly tried to extricate myself from the embrace) and was looking forward to returning to the meek wall flower that I am when this next incident occurred. A few of us were
wandering the street at night, slowly making our way back to the campsite, posing for the occasional goofy photo along the way.

I was posing with a sign when we all noticed a man, slightly inebriated, staring at me just before approaching Leila to request my name. Leila, clearly in a moment of hatred, gave him my name and asked if he thought I was funny (I was making a face for the photo at the time). What happened next is all lore...Leila was laughing too hard when she recalled it at the time and still laughs every time she retells the tale, so the details are fuzzy. Apparently the man slowly stammered "no, no...she's, she's....beautiful while 'romantically encircling his face' (as per Leila). He then stumbled off in the night.

Unfortunately this was not an isolated occurrence, it has occurred in every country - sometimes a few times a day. I do not look better here in Africa, in fact I look worse. Every inch of my skin is either sun burnt or covered in insect bites. I am filthy dirty and my hair is a matted mess. I smell like a mixture of sunscreen and DEET. My clothes are never clean and seldom match. And...the cankles are back. The only possible explanation I can offer for this unprecedented attention is that I am a novelty. The women of Africa are gorgeous - tall, thin and graceful. I present a polar opposite option for the men of Africa.

The other species I seem to be honey to is the East African fire ant. It started after our first night of camping in Lake Nakuru Kenya when word of my delicious flesh got out. Now if there are ants within a 10 mile radius they will make a beeline for me, bypassing many other scrumptious options to nibble on my ankles. This is of course horrible news for my tent mate Leila...I say it's karma for encouraging drunk men to hit on me.

(N.B. Leila has had her share of barely legal admirers too...) (the photo at the top is from Tanzania and is a different drunk man who presented himself as my husband...)

Wave muzinga wave (posting from the road)

A few people have e-mailed to ask what type of journey I am on...I wrote this little blurb to tell you all what an average day as an overland traveller on this trip has been like. Overland travel is just like the name says, you travel between places 'over the land', no planes. Our truck, not a bus, serves not only as our transport, but as portable storage for our personal belongings, food, camping equipment and water.

Our day typically starts very early in the morning. Breakfast is usually around 0630 but we must be entirely packed up and tent dismantled prior to eating. Activities for the day vary greatly depending on our location, sometimes we start or end with a game drive. Other times we walk through a local village or partake on a trek to locate primates. So far, no two days have been the same.

Other days are just travel days. On these days our time in the truck varies between 4 - 10 hours. This time is generally spent chatting, reading, napping or just sitting and watching the Africa slip by. The countryside is exactly what you would expect...mud huts nestled in fields of coffee or bananas with the occasional zebra or baboon, and shabbily dressed little kids frantically waving.

We wave a lot. That is the biggest understatement I have ever typed. Travel like this involves waving. Lots and lots and lots of waving. Little kids get stupidly excited at the site of our giant truck and white people, they jump up and down waving so hard it looks like their poor arms may fall off. They often yell "muzunga" at us, not in an insulting fashion but more as an identifier (similar to the gringo calls that you get in Central America). Muzunga means 'rich white person' in Swahili. We asked what the word for poor white person is...there is none, to them we are all rich.

Lunch is an interesting affair to watch for outsiders. Our big truck rolls up into a clearing and then, like a well oiled machine we spring into action. Chairs materialize and hungry campers set about the business of chopping vegetables for our sandwiches and salad while locals stand by and stare. (Everyday lunch is the same thing; sandwiches on bread that falls apart in your hands and salad compromised of the previous nights leftovers.) Sometimes livestock wanders through our lunch site. In less than 45 min, dishes are washed and we are back on the road...it was like we were never there.

Despite the repetitive nature of lunch, Bryson our chef keeps us well feed. Hearty breakfasts and delicious dinners bookend our days. Worried about us on long drives, he will have Charles pull over and get us fresh fruit from local vendors as snacks. It is amazing what he does cooking with minimal amounts of equipment and a VERY limited budget - I think he would win Top Chef given the chance.

Charles our driver has so far managed to keep us alive despite needing to switch between left and right handed drive, depending on the country and navigating mountain hugging roads. I cannot imagine driving an overland truck to be an easy thing especially since some of the roads we navigate are typically home to just livestock. So I give him kudos, despite my bruised behind.

The day typically ends with a game drive or walk before we set up our tents for the night. I mentioned in an earlier posting about some of the animal life that typically invades our campsite...to date we have had baboons, zebras, pigs, giant cockroaches, monkeys, goats, cats, buffalo, cows, hippos and as I am writing this a warthog is making a snuffing noise outside my tent. Avoiding middle of the night washroom runs has caused me to severely limit all fluid intake to the point where I may need dialysis when I get home.

There are occasions where we remain in the same spot for 2 - 3 nights, these are always my favourite. It is nice not to have to pack your bed everyday AND there is a chance to do laundry, clean clothes are such a luxury.

Its an interesting but exhausting journey. Long days, early mornings but it has given me a chance to see a part of Africa that there is simply no other way to see.

I cannot recall where I packed the kitchen sink...(posting from the road)‏

Do you ever agree to something, thinking that it is just the best idea ever...and then 11 months pass and you wonder how drunk you must have been when the original plan was formed. I am sitting in yet another Delta lounge, Minneapolis this time, waiting to board a plane for Amsterdam. Upon arriving I am going to scour the terminal in search of a girl that I haven’t seen in over 13 years. Once I find her, or someone vaguely resembling her, I will sprint to the next gate and board a plane for...Nairobi Kenya!

A la Amazing Race style, Leila and I will try and locate a cab driven by a man who possesses no inkling to kill us and, using our best Swahili, get him to take us to the address of an apartment. This apartment, our first pit stop on the Dark Continent, belongs to a girl named Susan that Leila met on the internet. The next two nights are spent at a luxury giraffe dude ranch sort of place before we leave the hustle and bustle of modern Nairobi for the wilds of Africa.

Getting back to my Girl Guide routes, I will be heading out into the vast African wilderness, just me, Leila, a tent and of course an air mattress. We are going to camp our way through Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda and Tanzania – communing nature up close as we shoo it out of the tent each night.

In preparation for this great adventure I have packed, re-packed and ultimately over packed. I have “just the essentials”. Do you remember that scene from Dumb and Dumber when Jim Carrey goes out with instructions to only buy the “essentials” and comes back with a case of beer, a pinwheel and a foam cowboy hat? That is how well I am prepared – I have a sleeping bag, enough medicines to open a clinic, SPF 70 sun block, 2 hairbrushes, a wetsuit, a UV light water purifier and 50 number 2 pencils. I cannot recall if I packed a bra...that could be problematic...I may have to wear that wetsuit more than I intended.

So join me as I embark on another adventure, this one easily the least thought out of all of them (I would think that night one with an internet stranger should be a clear enough indicator of that). I have no idea if the Eastern African Wilderness is equipped with wifi, so I may be batching my adventure tales to you...you don’t need to read them all at once (this is directed to Caitlin, Jolie, Brendan,Matthew....)...I just need to send them when I can. Sharon, I will do my best to keep the photos available to match the stories. Please, feel free to respond (thank you Staci and Crystal)! I may not get a chance to directly write back but I LOVE to read messages when I am on the road (Rebecca and Lisa).

Well I am off, I saw a gift shop outside of the lounge and I just realized that I need to pick up a few more items...toaster, Twilight novel, stuffed moose, banjo...