Please write to me care of Minneapolis/St. Paul airport (posting from the road)

I arrived at the gate slightly breathless as was always the case when making the sprint from F28 to B13 in what has to be one of the world's most expansive airports. It takes numerous escalators, moving sidewalks, trams and pedal power to navigate your way through Minneapolis/St. Paul airport. I stood there stunned to see that the flight was actually on time...this was too good to be true - I was going to arrive back in my hometown on time - a first! If my luggage actually made it sometime this week it would be my most successful flight on this route ever.

Of course you know that's not what happened in the end. I missed all the earlier announcements so I was unaware of the fact that the flight was overweight. I just stood in line, clutching my boarding pass, oblivious to the drama around me. I snapped back to reality when I realized that the gate agent was repeating herself for the third time to the passenger ahead of me, "Ma'am, you are not on this flight". The passenger just stood there, blinking with a vacant look to her. While the socially inept gate agent continued to repeat herself, some other passengers and myself deduced, after reviewing her travel documents that this 82 year old lady was on her 21st hour of travel from Frankfurt Germany and spoke no English. The gate agent had no qualms about making this lady remain alone in Minneapolis MN overnight and try and catch a flight the next day.

Cursing my sense of right and wrong, I gave up me seat for this lady and elected to stay in Minneapolis overnight. A second gate agent had come to assist in the situation and was very thankful for my kindness so he rewarded me with a coupon for a hotel for the night at $20 worth of vouchers that I could spend for meals for the next 16 hours of my delay. I was trying to remain polite while simultaneously deciding where to spend all of my voucher money - $20 in an airport can get you either a burger OR a side of fries with a small pop...hmmm so many decisions, good thing I now had 16 hours to make them in. The original ruthless gate agent suggested that I use my vouchers for room service at the hotel. "Oh really I replied, do they have room service at the Days Inn?" was all I could mumble as I scooped up my papers and walked away.

Then nice thing about getting screwed by an airline, is that you can always find a comrade. This is how I met Dana and Carolyn - two hilarious sisters who were involuntarily bumped by Northwest. We decided to team up to try and navigate our way through the mammouth Minneapolis airport to try and locate the Days Inn Egan hotel shuttle. We made it 3 gates before Carolyn realized that she wasn't going to make it any further without the help of a luggage cart. I know what you are thinking...a luggage cart for carry on only? Yes, you see Carolyn was 'carrying on' 2 giant, Costco size, pumpkin pies and a cheesecake. We stopped briefly at baggage customer service to attempt to reclaim our luggage, of course not an option, but in lieu of our belongings we were given a "Care Pack" which is a transparent T-shirt and a flimsy toothbrush. Frustrated and tired we set off to hotel shuttles, which was still a good 25 min walk from our location. No elevator in site meant Carolyn had to improvise and she just pushed her trolley of pastries onto the escalator.

Do you know why you cannot take luggage trolleys onto the escalator? I now do. Turns out there is a little lip at the top that the trolley is prone to getting stuck on. Dana is making good time and is way ahead of us. I am behind Carolyn on the escalator, coffee in one hand and cell phone in the other. I am listening to a friend of mine, who is quite upset, discuss a tragedy in her life when I realize hear Carolyn frantically call out for help. The trolley is stuck. The next few seconds were a blur...Dana started to laugh uncontrollably, I started walking backwards down the escalator steps carefully trying to not spill my coffee and not change the concern in my voice for the sake of my upset friend and Carolyn tips the trolley over, gracelfully leaps it and somehow save the pies as they go careening across the floor.

We gave up on a shuttle and took a cab to the hotel in time to settle down in the common area and watch the fourth quarter of Monday Night Football and Bret Faurve and the Vikings trounced the Green Bay Packers. The game was being played just a short distance from where we now sat...surrounded by other stranded Northwest passengers.

Sleep was intermittent thanks to my scratchy sheets and hammocky mattress, so I was blearly eyed as I climbed into the shuttle but excited to get to go home. Dana, Carolyn, the pies and I made our way through security and with big plans to use up all of our food vouchers before boarding our final flight. "Airline Irregularities" was the excuse that we were given as to why the next flight was cancelled. WTF does that mean? "I don't know, I have never heard that before" was the blanket response from any Northwest/Delta employee that we asked who then shrugged and suggested, "You have time to visit the Mall of America if you want".

I don't want to go to the f$#@%ng mall - I WANT TO GO HOME!

So...after a delay in our departure, we are home; 25 hours later then expected, pies and all. No - no luggage. (October 2009)