honk honk honk honk honk honk (posting from the road)

It was sad to leave the sweet town of Siem Reap, and I would have gladly stayed had I known what a waited me at the end of a very long public bus ride. Part of our basic tour includes public buses whenever possible, which at first sounded like a fun adventure. I am sure that most of you have not had the privilage of third world public bus riding (for those who have this should serve as a violent reminder)...let me tell you about it. To board the bus you have to fight your way through tons of people trying to sell you fruit and bread (Barry - I used that trick we developed in Cusco, just buy one of everything to try and protect yourself from further vendors). You then have to figure out which bus is yours through matching up the kuhmer alaphabet symbols with your 'ticket' - there are many Korean symbols present as well if that makes it easier for you. There are at least 25 buses to check (I don't think Cambodia has this many cities to travel to by bu so I have no idea where all of these buses are going!?) It appears as if all buses in Cambodia are on their second life, through either sales or theft, having originated in Korea.

Once you have determined that you have the correct bus, or at least one travelling that general direction, you must place your luggage under the bus. As the under storage cabinets open from both sides, no doubt someone is waiting on the other side to promptly unload your bags and have a quick look through them. Luggage stored, or at least out of your hands? Time to board the bus.

You sit down, exhale and enjoy a moment of peace, you had better enjoy it because that is the last serene moment that you will ever have. From then on it is nothing but honk, honk, honk, honk. honk for 7 hours straight. The driving here is a bit different in that no one signals, you simply signify your intentions with a honk. Passing is a necessity because 'Cambodian' freeway traffic is composed of trucks, buses, motos, tuk-tuks, bicycles and ox-carts - obviously all travelling at vastly different speeds. No worries, just honk, pull out and all other traffic will simply drop to the sides of the road and let you through. Our driver honked much more then I would think necessary - at every cow, buffalo or rice patty we passed he would give them a honk honk (I assure you no amount of iPod drowns this out either). We concluded in the end that he must be getting some sort of a kickback for every honk - kickbacks are a very popular thing here. Would you like a distracting sound from the horns? No worries, entertainment on these public buses is...Cambodian Karaoke! Even worse, sometimes they have intermittent English lyrics. There are videos to accompany the songs - every video, and I do mean EVERY video is a man who is cheating with an attractive women, they are cuddling at the beach or a park, while a scorned women follows them by dodging behind lightposts looking forlorn.

Need to use the washroom? No worries, there are stops every few hours at roadside stands where a disgusting squat toilet is available. This is also your chance to stock up on some road snacks...your options generally seem to be fried bananas, rice, crickets and spiders. (yes that is Christopher eating a spider in the photo). The only redeeming features about these stops...no horn...that is until it's time to get back on the bus, then honk, honk, honk.

So you have made it to your destination...wait the fun's not over yet...if the bus slows, even for a nano second, out of thin air, eager tuk-tuk drivers appear in the hopes that someone maybe getting off and need a ride. They swarm the door, making deboarding the bus a nightmare. Now you need to find your luggage - but as soon as it is unloaded from the bus by one of the 12 y.o. employees, it is scooped up by a tuk-tuk driver. Now hot, exhausted and in desperate need of a washroom you have to fight your way through the crowds to try and find all the pieces of your luggage which are no doubt spread out through various tuk-tuks. It's only a matter of time until you just give up the fight and walk away, abandoning all luggage - I say let someone else lug it for a while!

hmmm never did get to my point...next e-mail

A-gun for reading.