Men and fire ants...(posting from the road)

I have no idea what it is about this place...I seem to attract two things...men and fire ants.
Never in my life have I invited so much attraction from the opposite sex. I seemed to be the most desirable in Rwanda for some reason - this is a little tale to illustrate the completely random and absurd nature of my feminine wilds. (I tell you this tale because it is Leila's favourite and made her almost wet her pants from laughter when it occurred).

I just finished an uncomfortable good bye with our Rwandan tour guide who seemed to have taken a shining to me as well (our parting involved his hand on my ass and tongue in my ear while I awkwardly tried to extricate myself from the embrace) and was looking forward to returning to the meek wall flower that I am when this next incident occurred. A few of us were
wandering the street at night, slowly making our way back to the campsite, posing for the occasional goofy photo along the way.

I was posing with a sign when we all noticed a man, slightly inebriated, staring at me just before approaching Leila to request my name. Leila, clearly in a moment of hatred, gave him my name and asked if he thought I was funny (I was making a face for the photo at the time). What happened next is all lore...Leila was laughing too hard when she recalled it at the time and still laughs every time she retells the tale, so the details are fuzzy. Apparently the man slowly stammered "no, no...she's, she's....beautiful while 'romantically encircling his face' (as per Leila). He then stumbled off in the night.

Unfortunately this was not an isolated occurrence, it has occurred in every country - sometimes a few times a day. I do not look better here in Africa, in fact I look worse. Every inch of my skin is either sun burnt or covered in insect bites. I am filthy dirty and my hair is a matted mess. I smell like a mixture of sunscreen and DEET. My clothes are never clean and seldom match. And...the cankles are back. The only possible explanation I can offer for this unprecedented attention is that I am a novelty. The women of Africa are gorgeous - tall, thin and graceful. I present a polar opposite option for the men of Africa.

The other species I seem to be honey to is the East African fire ant. It started after our first night of camping in Lake Nakuru Kenya when word of my delicious flesh got out. Now if there are ants within a 10 mile radius they will make a beeline for me, bypassing many other scrumptious options to nibble on my ankles. This is of course horrible news for my tent mate Leila...I say it's karma for encouraging drunk men to hit on me.

(N.B. Leila has had her share of barely legal admirers too...) (the photo at the top is from Tanzania and is a different drunk man who presented himself as my husband...)