Charades - a game I am bad at both above and under water (posting from the road)

Most places I visit have sort of a lackadaisical approach to rules. Their primary focus is never really on safety. You can hike up and physically touch lava if you want to in Guatemala. In Peru the road we were driving on literally washed out from under us. In Tanzania they allow you to set a tent in the middle of carnivous hunting grounds. It's my first full day here in Israel...but I am already sensing more of an East German approach to rule enforcement (sorry about the reference Anja!)

A few years ago when I visited Egypt, I went snorkelling in the Red Sea. The fish and reefs were stunning, unfortunately I was so focused on trying not to drown while inadvertainly drinking the Red Sea that I could not fully enjoy it. It was this mass consumption of sea water that lead me to deciding to become a certified dive instructor. So I felt a full circle moment when I returned here today to now DIVE the Red Sea.
I assumed that as I had in other countries I would simply show up with my wetsuit and PADI card and go diving. Not so simple in Israel. Any person who has not dove in the past 6 months is required to take a recertification class. Not wanting to suffer the humiliation that I did in Cambodia having to take a class with the processional swimmer from Norway, I opted to pay for a private instructor. Here is where we meet Eh-eye (not sure how to spell it).

He's not a fun loving person - I suspect in real life he takes things very seriously. Not saying that is a bad quality in a divemaster...but this guy was some type of special forces in the Israeli military years ago (mentally I think he's still there). Apparently whatever he did involved getting large amounts of gear on and secure in record time...a practice he has carried over to instructing divers. He showed me ways to safely secure myself in my dive gear in mere seconds. This practice was drilled into him by his commanding officers and he firmlly believes it is a valuable skill to master. I bit by toungue (mostly out of fear for having to drop and give him twenty) before I pointed out that this was not combat. No one was going to die if it took me a few extra minutes to strap the 50 lbs of dive gear on...really I just want to look at pretty fishes without swallowing salt water.

So we entered the water finally and I did my refresher skills demonstration, including the complete mask removal...the skill that haunts me the most...before we took in search of the fish. The one skill that I am horrible at (particualarily on my first dive after not being at if for a while) is neutral boyauncy. It is really tricky but important, traditionally I just flap my arms like little chicken wings to avoid hitting anything that will hurt. Not good form but it gets the job done. Obviously Rambo was not approving of this technique.

Have you ever been yelled at under water? My first dive was spent with Eh-eye angerily gesticulating at me like some sort of deranged underwater charades. I had no idea what point he was trying to make. First I thought I was kicking too fast, then too slow, then not enough air in my BCD, then too much...this went on and on. I was not improving, just getting annoyed, and I still needed my little chicken wing flaps to survive.

Most divemasters just look the other way...but there was something about my little wings that just set Eh-eye off...to the point where he actually started to slap me. If I instinctively used a hand to avoid hitting deadly coral, he would slap my hand. Seriously. So now here I am, underwater, clearly losing the game of charades, being yelled at by an ex-Israeli militant who is hitting me. All I want to do is look at the fish

Finally we surface, have a nice long talk and the second dive went much smoother. I hate to say it but his techniques actually worked and for the first time ever, I was able to master...maybe not master but at least not totally butcher the skill of neutral boyuancy.

(as for the marine life...the second dive was closer to dusk so regrettably very few of the photos turned out...but I was able to see several Lion fish, puffer fish, blue spotted stingray, an octupus(top photo center), a sea snake (photo bottom left), thousands of bright coloured fish, tangs, wrasse, parrotfish, stunning coral, sea slugs etc. If you dive, it is definatly worth the trip)