I need bread, eggs, socks and my head examined for parasites...

We touched down in the large Ecuadorian metropolis of Guyaquil full of sadness for our departed paradise but with excitement at the possibility of enjoying some air conditioning. More than a week sailing around the equator has left me craving artificially cooled but deliciously refreshing air. In fact the only requirements that I had for this layover hotel were Wi-Fi and air-conditioning...this was evident as we pulled up outside a house that had been renovated into a B&B that was more like a fortress then a quiet place to rest your head. Bars on the windows, steel gates and vault-thickness doors were our welcome to Guyaquil...but that was all forgotten the second the giant door swung open and the cool crisp air beckoned us in.

After a few hours of relaxing in our room (that has been cooled to meat-locker temperatures), I decided to take up the mission to pick up some new socks. As luck would have it we were staying a few blocks away from an absolutely amazing store. It was like a super Wal-Mart that had been extra superfied both with selection and security - there were armed guards both at the door and in the little watchtower in the parking lot. We wandered the aisles for a while, marvelling that it was possible to purchase a riding lawn mower, a side of beef, lumbar, cookies, shoes and face cream under the same roof. It took a sometime before I found the adult female section of the clothing store and some snazzy new socks.

While wandering to the cash register we were offered a free lice check. I turned my head slowly to watch shoppers sitting in chairs while women gowned in smocks combed through their hair with absolute precision in search of teeny parasites. It was at that time that I decided to forgo the purchasing of any snacks from this establishment.

I picked what appeared to be the shortest of the many lines and waited patiently before noticing a disturbing trend. The four people ahead of me had very little in their carts or hands...initially. It seems what people do is come to shop in pairs, one waits in line while the other wanders the store filling the buggy with items. Then they switch out. The cashiers don’t seem to have a burning desire to complete their job in a hurry either. In 27 minutes we didn’t move at all. In fact the same person was checking out/shopping at the till the entire time.

I had to abandon the socks. I had a flight in less than 10 hours and at the current pace I would never make it. Flip flops for the next several weeks it is!