To polite to say no...

I am many things...trusting, naive, gullible...but I blame the fact that I am Canadian for getting me into this smelly mess.

We were taking a little day trip out of Sydney to the Blue Mountains after being told that they were definitely a "must-see". And while they did have a sort of blueish haze...I think 'mountain' may have been a bit of a stretch...

Either way they were quite lovely and give us the chance to see a different bit of rural Australia. And like any good tourist destination there was the opportunity to purchase some traditional Auzzie souvenirs...much I am sure to the delight of my families overstuffed closets of crap.

This time if decided to purchase a few boomerangs for my brothers after spotting a make shift booth manned by an actual aboriginal. He looked just like an extra Crocodile Dundee and when you were down wind from him...well it was clear that he either wasn't living anywhere with indoor plumbing or availing himself of it if he was.

After parting with the money, he, Kumba was his name,very kindly offered to pose for the photo I wanted but was too nervous to ask for. I stood their grinning with aboriginal Kumba (but taking great pains to not touch his sweaty malodorous body), excited to prove to be brothers the authenticity of their gift when he said it would be ok to give him a kiss...you know...for the "shot".

I am sure many of you are rolling your eyes by now - and you should be. While I had absolutely no desire to kiss any part of this horrible smelling man I didn't want to be rude. So, like the rube it turns out I am...I leaned in to peck the man on the cheek. What happened next was shocking to me but apparently fairly predictable to everyone else.

Kumba reached his smelly arms around me in a full embrace and kissed me as thought the priest had just announced us man and wife.

While this has strong hollywood potential to be one of those formulaic "meet-cute" moments that have a happy ending the reality is far more disgusting. Shocked and taken aback, I merely mumbled "thank you" and stumbled away back to our mini excursion bus with my friends laughing too hard to walk trailing behind me. And as I sat there, alone, with visible stench waves no doubt wafting off of me, i scrolled through my photos of the day to discover that one of my mates had elected to capture this moment for all to enjoy back home.