Jaws meets my fist (posting from the road)

There is one special week of the year that excites the vast majority of us...not the first week of summer or the week before Christmas...I am referring to the epic television viewing phenomenon of shark week.


Since the release of Jaws, and the subsequent 27+ sequels, no creature on the planet has struck fear in the minds of swimmers, boaters and fisherman than the Great White Shark. And rightfully so.

You know when you read about something...and it sounds like a good idea...but then when you are actually clinging to the side of a boat praying for death you realize that the brochure may have glossed over some of the details...that was today.

We left Cape Town at 0400 for a 2 hour drive to the port town of Gansbaii in the hopes of seeing a Great White Shark in person. The past two mornings the tours had been canceled for rough seas but the skipper felt that today would be "okay". It was not. Shortly after departing shore I realized that the plethora of anti-nausea meds were going to be no match against the 3.5 m swells that we would be anchored broadside in.

It took me close to 20 min to get my damp wet suit on between the overwhelming nausea, caffeine deficiency and numb fingers (it was freezing that morning). The next step was...well it didn't really matter to me as I was clinging to the port side of the boat chumming with regurgitated Rice Krispies. I would take brief breaks to stumble over to the other side of the boat where Barry was in the water and watch giant sharks assault the cage.

And then it was my turn...mustering up courage and with the skippers assurances that I would feel better in the water I plunged into the icy Atlantic surrounded by the "cage".

I'm going to digress here to describe the "cage" as I feel it's quality is relevant to my tale. When I hear the word CAGE I envision a sturdy enclosure powerful enough to keep its content safely contained (or in the case things out). Metals I feel should be used in cage building include steel, iron or even better titanium. None if those were the metals used...my guess is it would be the same metal that paper clips are constructed with. Seriously I have kept budgies in a cage with more structure. I can only assume the the onslaught of ineffective anti-nausea meds lowered my common sense threshold and that is why I agreed to get into the water with sharks relying on a paper clip to keep me safe.

In the water I went instantly numb. My feet that were supposed to rest on a lower bar kept losing their ability to grip and slipping out the needlessly large holes to dangle in the murky water like an appetizer. The visibility was very poor that day and every time the skipper yelled "down" - I would pop my head under the water, see nothing but feel the cage shake. I could barley see my own feet just on the rail below.

After the familiar "down" was called out...and I popped me head under and attempted to find the hole in which to peer out of...instead I found something peering in...or rather swiftly ramming his head through the, I'll say it again - needlessly large hole. Complete fear is all I felt at that moment. And then...my right hand, which was holding a camera off to the side, was jarred backwards as the snout of the great white shark smashed into it.

I wish I could conclude this story by saying that I remained calm and poised during this situation...but Barry is with me and I doubt that version would hold up. I vaguely remember screaming something like "oh my god, he touched me! The shark touched me! I'm done. Get me out!" - several times...very loudly.

Not sure if it was a language barrier or the sadistic nature of the skipper, but I remained in the joke of a cage - frozen like an ice cube - choking on my own vomit - cowering as the cage continued to shake and rattle violently between the bashing of the massive waves and the intermittent assault of this terrifying predator for at least 15 more minutes.

I didn't do much better once I was permitted back on the boat - either shivering away on the deck or vomiting over the side. It got so bad at one point that I considered jumping back into the water, no cage, and hoping the circling sharks would end it all.

But now...I'm back on land...dry...motionless...safe...and have a totally different perspective. I'm excited to be one of the few people to ever touch a great white and live to write about it. Was it terrifying? Yes. Was it awesome? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell yes!