To the victor go the spoils...(posting from the road)

This seems like a funny way to end my time in Guatemala but it was an enjoyable evening and I wanted to record it for posterity.

After a final team dinner and some tearful goodbyes to new and old friends, a few of us returned to our hotel for a nightcap. The size of our team meant that we needed to split into three different hotels. Only four of us were placed in La Merced – not the fortunate four. It was a small hotel that I imagined had a booming hourly business at one point.

So the four of us (Angela, Traci, Leila and myself) were joined by Lisa for a few bottles of wine in the mini courtyard or our place. I cannot recall how the topic of washrooms came up but as we chatted we discovered that we all had very distinctive and difficult facilities in our room. The conversation deteriorated further to a friendly disagreement over which room had the worst of the bunch.
The only way to solve a problem such as this is to grab the bottle of wine and take a tour of the rooms – a drunken comparison was definitely in order. We traipsed up to the third floor to quickly rule Traci’s palatial bathroom out of the equation. I cannot even believe she thought she was a candidate.

Next stop – mine and Leila’s room, and as I still maintain, the WORST of the bunch. To give some credit to the designer, it is certainly makes use of space, every possible inch of space. First off the door is Guatemalan sized, so the average North American has to adjust their posture just to enter the door. But you also must decide what your intention is before you enter the room as turning around inside is not possible without risking an ankle fracture or soaking your feet.

The toilet is wedged into a small alcove so tightly that pre-lubricating your thighs is not a bad idea. Actually stretches before using the toilet isn’t a bad idea either as reaching the paper requires a sort of yoga move to try and grasp a few precious squares. The floor is on two distinct but very camouflaged levels so even when you know it’s there, every person rolls an ankle on the ½ inch division between bathroom floor and shower floor.

The sink is in the shower. Handy if you want to brush your teeth while showering but difficult of you just want to use the sink after someone has showered. Unless you wash while you are sitting on the toilet...it is possible to reach the sink while utilizing the facilities. After a thorough demonstration of the limitations of our commode, we trekked down to Angela’s room for our only true competition.

Same ridiculous small door to enter, and after you have entered you must immediately sit. Your feet will now protrude into the shower area (as delineated by the hidden ledge) – I guess guys would just stand in the shower and face the toilet. After your have completed your business, you must exit the room and locate the sink down and around a corner. Annoying yes, but I still maintain that this is advantageous since you must put your used toilet paper into a basket next to the toilet and if you can avoid brushing your teeth in this environment – all the better.

The wine was completed before the conclusion of the competition but deep down, I know the true victor. Sad that may be the only thing I ever win.