"Do not fall in that pool"

I often start writing with the phrase "one of these things doesn't belong..."; never has that been more true than the wedding I just attended.

 
I am not a close friend or a coworker of either the bride or the groom - I met them last year while riding the Trans Siberian rail. And they are amazing...I sort of had a little crush on them - not in the creepy perv way but in that you are both so awesome way (they are smart, kind, funny, attractive, they have the good British accent and clearly adore each other). They are the sort of people that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan would be modeled after if they ever needed to make a British romantic comedy.

Anyway...I shall move or this whole entry will be about me gushing about them and I will end up on a watch list and having to answer questions to some sort of Scotland Yard stalking expert.

So for reasons unknown to me, I was invited to their wedding in Rio De Janerio...my best guess is a bet that went horribly wrong. "Honey let's invite that creepy girl from the train last year...you know the one that stuttered when she was near us and stared a lot...that would be a giggle! Ha - she'd never come". Neither of them will ever wager again.

I flip through bridal magazines and see photos of phony weddings designed to try and inspire the bride but I think really just make her realize something she likely cannot have. Well...Will and Sarah's wedding was prettier than anything on those glossy pages.

Set on a garden terrace at the base of Christ the Redeemer, the whole event was conducted with the city and harbor of Rio in the background at sunset (yes they actually had one of the Wonders of the World overlooking their ceremony). Pre-ceremony drinks and canapés were served while the aroma of exotic flowers subtly reminded the guests that they were indeed in a foreign and exotic land. The ceremony was conducted in English and Portuguese - quaint and to the point. No detail was left out...from the Caipirinha bar to the samba dancer instructors on hand to teach guests. The food that was a surprisingly delicious fusion of Brazilian and British (not being a huge fan of either cuisine individually I discovered that the secret is in melding them). Sarah looked like a bridal gown model and Will looked like a more attractive version of Prince William. The wedding favour...custom designed Havianas. Seriously.

Obviously I had no business being at this wedding. Dressed in a stretchy blue skirt that I had managed to avoid wearing for 4 weeks despite some desperate times and an orange smock-like top that I purchased in the Guayaquil airport I clearly stuck out in a field of elegant dressed Brits sporting fascinators. Even Leila, who I was relying on to look like a dingy backpacker cleaned up fantastically with a scarf. My nerves began to show immediately upon arrival as i gazed upon the setting. My response to stress is hardly subtle - I prattle on in a hurried tone with a subtle, yet horrible British accent. (Normally this is just annoying for others but given that most of the guests were from the UK it was a blend of amusing and offensive)

Leila, having been with me now for several weeks (and previously in Africa fof several weeks) was aware it was only a matter of time that I resorted to a few glasses of an adult beverage - just to calm the nerves. Leila is also aware of my inability to really consume said beverage and remain a useful member of society. Upon seeing the pool in the center of the tables with flowers and candles floating in it and surrounding it, Leila just looked at me and said, in a very stern and authoritative tone, "do not fall in that pool".

Good advice - anytime I was within eyesight of the pool I would repeat the phrase to myself repeatedly (gosh I hope it was to myself). And I am happy to report that I did not, mostly because heels were too hard to pack and I so attended the wedding in flip flops...otherwise it would have been splash for sure.

Congratulations Will and Sarah - thanks for the invite. And thanks to your guests for making me feel like one of gang!